• Pisfizer, knuckerpissis, marefookedis

  • Reiki Gal

    Hi Brad,
    Thanks for the clever insight into product branding...too funny!  The sad part that many people don't realize is that these mares are impregnated and then made to stand in vary narrow stalls 24/7l day to collect the urine, and then once the foals are born, they are unwanted and many times are neglected or destroyed.  There are many horse rescue organizations that are fighting the production of Premarin because of the abuse these horses suffer.  Do a quick google search for premarin mare images, and the sight of it will sadden you. 

  • Brad, you are so wicked that you are bound to end up in hell.
    And if you don't I guarantee you one of those women, whom you enlightened you by explaining what she is rubbing on her precious, will carry you there.  :)

  • swriviera

    Ya gotta love marketing!!

    I especially love the one from E Brian Rose about the photo of a baby on the baby-food jar …. ground up baby?!?!?!?!   LMAO
    Goes to show that you need to know your market.

    I like the "Primarin" - it sounds so ..... fresh.  Good Job.

    I also have some friends who are going through menopause and I think you could call it "Piss On My Face" and they would run to get it if it relives symptoms!!
    I'm one of the lucky ones who is not very symptomatic so, fortunately for me I can say no to:
    Preghorspis, Femhorspe, Horsmompis, Mommymarewiz, Pisfromare, Pregorsein, Knockedorsepis, Promhorsine

    But I do like the idea of finding a pen name this way ….. LMAO even more

    This is hilarious!!

  • Jimian

    Yuck. Could have called it a Manly name like: VitaLube!

  • LMAO. I think I'm going to write a book under the pen name Preghorspis

  • lol.. too funny! I can't see why they didn't go with one of your suggestions Brad. Mommymarewiz?!? lol
    does pfizer know you're this talented at product naming?

  • OMG.  What we learn the hard way! 

  • Yet another use for horse piss. I can see the meeting where one guy says, "hey, horses pee a lot, I wonder if we could sell it to people?"

  • Brad,
    Oh my gosh, this was too funny. l  like the names you came up with better. Lol

  • Joe Finn

    Hey Brad, are you working on a new WSO about link bait? Well done, dude :)

  • Glasgowduo

    I worked in the dairy industry and was amazed and amused that they made no attempt to brand some of their gadgets... a prime example being their artificial vaginas!  I can see it now... artivag, missfunnyfanny, puss-e, etc.

  • Sort of off topic, but when I was in a store in Mogadishu, the Gerber baby food jars had the picture of the Gerber baby scratched off.  Apparently, they often use pictures to show what is inside the packages and people were freaked out because they thought the baby food was ground up baby.

  • Maybe it was?

  • "You're getting me hot - I'm getting all wet down there."

    "Dang Honey it smells like you pissed your pants...!"

  • That's awesome! 

    Hopefully the tablet doesn't have an after-taste... 

    "Look sweetie - there's no way we're making out right now!"

    "Want a mint?"

  • Side effects may include a craving to eat hay and oats and the desire to be ridden by small men in funny pants.

    More seriously though, nice post.  In case anyone didn't already know, the term for this kind of name or phrase is called a "portmanteau" - where you combine words to create a compound contraction.

    Some ones from modern parlance are "tween" which is a portmanteau of "between" and "teen".  

    You may also have heard of "affluenza" which is a combination of "affluence" and "influenza".There are even words you might not have known were portmanteaus, like "bodacious" is a combo of "bold" and "audacious".  So many good ones:GuesstimateMockumentaryNewscastParatrooperTelevangelistInfomercialAdvertorial
    And using them as brand names has a long history, too.Spam (Spiced Ham)Jazzercise (Jazz Exercise)Amtrak (American Track)Compaq (Compatibility and Quality)FedEx (Federal Express)Groupon (Group Coupon)Intel (Integrated Electronics)Microsoft (Microcomputer Software)Palmolive (Palm Olive)Verizon (Vertias Horizon)So I guess the obvious thing to do, Brad, is change your name to BROSSE.  Saves everyone a whole syllable!

  • And pixel: smallest picture element

  • Pripa

    Oh yeah... and how about Brangelina?

  • Ray

    Urinluc could have worked as well I think.

  • I have always wondered what the heck made them end up with Boniva, that product Sally Fields is always pushing.  And then there is Spireva (I think I got the spelling right), and a few others.

    You're not the only one wondering such things.  Jay Leno had a really good laugh with that osteoporosis drug Boniva I mentioned above . . . "Sounds like something a guy should be using instead of Viagra . . ."

    And by the way, where the heck did they get the name "Viagra" from???

    (I already figured out where their competitor got "Cialis" from . . . it's an old George Wallace joke!  "If my erection lasts longer than four hours, why they heck would I call a doctor?  I'm just going to call Sheniqua, Doreen, Vanessa, Tracy, Alice . . . !"  Alice must have been SOME woman!)

    This almost makes me think of Barbara . . . the girl they named the Barbie doll after.

  • If memory serves, I believe they named it Viagra, which rhymes with Niagara, to suggest something powerful and unstoppable. No joke.

  • girljocks

    LOL! Thanks for a refreshingly lighthearted post. I always wondered how they ever got it in their heads in the first place that one product could work for any ailment ... I know where the naming cames from - most times a horses arse.

  • Bryan

    Pharmaceutical companies, gotta love em.  These are the same folks who use the term 'Fatal Event' to describe a potential side effect.

  • Usually women hear of the benefits, long before they get hip to what the name is derived from, not the least of which is bone health, and safer than those bone health poisons currently on the market. I would still take it if it was made from blind warthog puke; however, I don't know why they bothered naming Premarin after what it is made from. That makes no sense at all.  BUT, the naming of the product and the marketing are likely two separate factions. As a designer who works with ad agencies, every campaign I've ever worked on involved a product that already had a name. That's just the way it works. By the time the product goes to market (and even to focus groups, market testing, etc.), the horse is already out of the barn. (ahem)

  • Missmaples

    The drug companies spend a ton paying people to name the products. It's so specialized  it has own branch of marketing. 

  • Too funny, but not at all uncommon.  I have an agricultural background.  Try researching how common oral contraceptives are made.  You will find that there are horses involved in that as well.  This is the same stuff. They sure don't get the hormones from humans!  I'll bet your girlfriend/wife never considered that. LOL

    Thanks for the good laugh with the names, I too enjoy domain/product naming.

  • LOL

    Wait a sec...

    What the hell do they make Cheese Whiz out of?

  • james renouf

    Well now.

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