Often as internet marketers thinking about SEO we often go for the most descriptive names we can find. If 2-3 words describe your product like say “vaginal cream” you would try to get the domain and name your product that as well. I think it’s cool when companies make up words to describe their products, even better is when they take the descriptive words and use pieces of them to make a hybrid word.

The holy grail for me is when a company can turn a turd of descriptiveness into a golden hybrid name. Case in point…

Copyright © 2002-2007 Pfizer Inc.

See the good folks at Pfizer want to help women with menopause which I think is awesome (we men have it WAY too easy). So their scientists discovered Premarin®, a cream that prevents dryness which is good for men and women.

So why is Premarin® such an awesome name from a marketing perspective?
Because it’s a hybrid of 3 words that may have you rethink rubbing it on your vagina.

Wait for it…

Pregnant Mare’s Urine

That’s what it’s made from. Oh and it also comes in tablet form. I wonder if they offer chewables…

I know Menopause is a serious issue. I have good friends and family members dealing with it. But we have to laugh out loud at this “hiding in plain sight” naming concept.

Well done Pfizer…

I can’t help but wonder the product names that were considered but just didn’t make the cut. I will share some that came to mind while writing this, please do, add your own to the comments

• Preghorspis
• Femhorspe
• Horsmompis
• Mommymarewiz
• Pisfromare
• Pregorsein
• Knockedorsepis
• Promhorsine

This 45 min video talks about the ups and downs of running an online business. It’s not your typical internet marketing video full of claims. We are getting to the real shit here

All you have to do is share the vid on Facebook so your friends can see it too

In my business, I have to deal with selling things in public marketplaces where anyone can respond to my sales copy no matter how intelligent. Even the private emails we get from clients can sometimes be not only stupid but also accusatory and heated.

I get it. The internet is full of scams (or so we all think). So as soon as some people part with their money they think they are being “scammed”.

Sadly these people go on the offensive sometimes before and sometimes after the sale. Often before even properly reviewing the offer they just bought or want to buy and make accusations and draw conclusions about the offer before educating themselves.

In the last week alone we have been threatened with jail, exposing the truth, lawsuits, Dateline NBC, the better business bureau and more. All from people who were too stupid to read over our offers.

Now keep in mind this represents a VERY small percentage of my customers and they are largely dealt with nicely by my support staff. But often I am stuck dealing with the public marketplace replies.

My way of dealing with people is unconventional. I will quickly tell an asshole not to buy my product and often make him feel stupid by pointing out their inability to read. I can be sarcastic, mean and even fire customers who cause problems. How does that saying go? Treat others as you want to be treated.

I have even been referred to as the “Bully Marketer” by some people who can’t stand my style.

It would literally eat away at my soul if I had to kiss these peoples asses.

THAT’S why I started my own business.

I can’t take shit from people without fighting back. And guess what? I don’t have to follow any rules. I get to make my own. Yipeee!

The best news is this. Contrary to all the social media hippies that want us to think we have to be nice to everyone and sprinkle fairy dust around the world we DON’T have to be nice when people are being douche-bags.

Again, let me reiterate. I am only talking about people who have no manners when it comes to dealing with online sellers. If you email us for help and are polite or even just direct with your needs you will be helped. But if you send my staff a shitty email, or reply to one of my sales threads in an accusatory fashion you will feel my wrath.

I actually get messages from people who love my style of dealing with assholes. When people try to shit on me, I tend to eat spicy burritos and shit back WAY worse. It hasn’t hurt my business in the least. We are lucky to convert 3-5 out of every 100 people. We get to CHOOSE who those people are. And if 1% of them are assholes they can be fired without affecting your bottom line.

If you are reading this and thinking I am an asshole for treating angry people like garbage, you fall into the 95% of people who won’t buy anything from me. Now you know where you stand.

It’s over an hour in length and is 100% free for you to watch. The goal was simple. To teach you the things that helped us accelerate our success. My hope is that you learn something that pushes you 6 months or more ahead of where you are today.

Feel free to leave your thoughts below

Justin Popovic (my partner) and I did a quick demo to show you how it works.

I had a chance to review the Mercedes Benz SLS AMG. This car is SEXY and FAST. My only complaint was the handling. I expected it to hug corners better.

I took some pics in my driveway during a quick lunch stopover.

Driving the SLS is an experience in speed, loud noises and glances from everyone you pass.

Since I am not much of a car reviewer I am hoping the pictures tell the story.

Enjoy